Tonight, tonight!

"

I'm feeling inspired lately so I wan't to take advantage of my time to share it!
I'm back in Hamilton tonight from a fantastic weekend home. I reconnected with people I wanted to make a connection with, but each in a different environment which helps me to believe that life is going to be different and that it's important I believe that!
I took some fantastic photo's for my first time handling a semi-professional camera and I've attached them here!
Wishing the best to everyone out there with a message: "Believe in the resolute urgency of now"
Peace and Love

My due diligence to blogspot

It has been FOREVER plus 3 years since I blogged my spot!
This one is for the rohini's of the world who are loyal blog checkers.

Well now, two years and things have chaaanged. Lots of up's and down's and inside out's but those up moments are the ones that you live for. Today, here in London Ontario is a day to live for. It is one of the most beautiful days I have seen-hot sun, warm breeze, relaxation and the wonderful way the air smells. The breeze carries every blossoming scent and now, everything is green! Best part of the year, by far. I love my autumn but he can wait because I am having a love affair with spring.
Winter went out MEAN this year and I really felt it. I don't think that I've ever experienced seasonal depression? Winter isn't my favourite season, but i figured out how to ride it. 1) EXERCISE: Some co-workers and I got together at 7 am most mornings and climbed 300 flights of stairs up the mountain in Hamilton-OUTSTANDING start to the day! 2) FISHOIL: a recent discovery that has changed alot in my overall wellbeing. Fish oils and cod liver oils contains omega 3's (and some 6's) that are made up of DHA which helps your brain functions in respect to memory/focus, and EPA which helps stableize your emotions/moods-I'm a happy girl with my fishoil ;) 3) VITAMIN D: when we can't feel that sun!

I work now at a place called Goodness Me in Hamilton right on Locke St. (a fantastic little community) which is an organic food market and supplement store. We are learning information about supplements daily in terms of how provide yourself with alternative aid instead of western meds and prescriptions. If you decide to take natural supplements, you have to be prepared to invest time into seeing it's results, but the overall benefit is more wholesome than a quick fix.
I really love my job and I'm rocking it! Besides, i'm not finding any inspiration in hamilton and once school is out, I'm moving to Toronto for a bit and then finally finding myself in Europe in some old country. Invest in THAT!

I bought my very first SLR camera today for 50 bones. I am SO so SO so SO so excited because I have been wishing this day forever. I bought one roll of film, had the guy at forest city image show me how to insert it, and I'm off! I am going to develop them and hopefully scan and post the results by the end of this week. I am seeing a whole world of creative exploration with this which I have wanted for a very long time. I have my work cut out for me to start learning the anatomy of this baby, so feel free to share with me what you know!

Until then friends, good evenin'!
peace in the ghetto

what's been goin on

Good Friends, brought to you by Kashi

It's like this, it's like that, it's like this babay!

Hello out there, and how ya'll be?
I just had SOME nap, and woke up one million years later and realized that I havent been too committed. Distracted some, but it's time to get busy blogging. Fuck, can we just say online journaling? That's all it is. I feel like Ive heard that word blog more times than I should. Actually, today someone used blog 5 times in one sentence. That person wasnt making much sense, I think he just needed to let out some noise. I laughed.
So, its the time of the season for loving, and i'm falling for family, friends and myself. I'm back and forth, east and west and I always land back to myself. I feel like some higher power is prolonging my one woman journey so that I can keep on learning and growing. Knowledge is power baby. I got ALOT to learn.
My lovely lady ro is on a jorney now in her motherland, and she's starring in her own happiness. I miss you rohini, but still feel you through your efforts to connect and update us on your world. It's amazing how pacified I feel that you are consistent with your blogging, and sharing a window to your world. Friends have been coming and going for years now and its been the harshest bit of reality to have first been confronted with, so it's so refreshing to see you've utilzed the means to communicate ro.
I'm doin it. Fuck yea, I'm schooling next winter! I'm not going to draw this out any longer because I've learnt enough this year. I figured I owed it to myself to realize a life of work and budgeting. Owed myself a year of possibility, inspiration of different forms, but what I realized is that there was no inpiration. No motives of any sort. I'VE realized that I did this to know that I shouldnt have. But that's okay-aint no thang. Some thrive in there years off from school, but I didn't get out as much as I would from school. I need stimulas, I need a shockwave to the brain, so textbook it is. Bring on that good kind of stress baby. I'm so excited.
I can feel there is something waiting for me constantly, daily. I feel like I have a call of duty, something that I am meant to be doing. I want to fight for what's fair. Fight for justice, fight for equality, because it's all about balance. It's about looking at both sides of the matter and basing your conclusion from that. We need this now more than ever. Balance and time.

I'm moving in with the brosef next weekend and gamin teague. We'll be under the same roof for the rest of the summer, and then my family is off to Liverpool for two weeks, so mum, matt and I can meet our family. I can't believe its here, finally! This trip has been postponed since matt and I were 8 and 12.
Also to come this summer-the return of calvin, funfest sunfest, dancing, drinking beers under bridge, splashpad, moderate detoxification part. 2, and man love.

I'll blog you up real nice very soon.
I love you all.
Peace peace peace peace

JUST for now

T-Rex-Cosmic Dancer
T-Rex-I Love To Boogie
Incubus-Idiot Box
Sufjan Stevens-Chicago
Outkast-Da Art of Storytellin'(Part 2)
The Police-Don't Stand so Close to me
Mark Mothersbaugh-Let Me Show You My Boat
Seu Jorge-Life on Mars
K-OS-Cat Diesel
Metric-The Battlecry
Sigur Ros-Starlafur
Zero 7-Pageant of The Bizarre

Your gonna wanna

Crysta, the wizard of OZ

This here is my cousin Crysta in her completely messy and chaotic lifestyle in Melbourne Austrailia. Thank GOD she finished teachers college and came out with SO much more she went into it with. But still...with the mess and chaos and the lifestyle. I don't think I realized how much I missed this one. Maybe it's because I have let myself become jaded by the people in my environment now, and how little of myself that I choose to be around them. Crysta is the sister I should have had, and she's fantastic, and she's true and she's the funniest person you will ever meet. But wait! Don't run to your nearest airport or bus station yet, because this kangaroo is off to Cairo to kick it with her boyfriend, and possibly throw together a little wedding.
I went to Hamilton to welcome her back from OZ, and she got really drunk with her family that night and we celebrated and kept pouring more wine into her glass and you can see it all now (by the way, Calvin, this should explain her conversation with you that night over my crappy cell phone with the bad reception. Sorry for the attack! I'm the youngest, I'm a girl and a boy called. I think you understand!)Spending the past couple of weeks with Crysta and my family has brought me back to when I went to school here and spent almost every second with her. I met a crazy tribe that she ran with and found myself with an invitation to be apart of that. As much as I don't want to her see her go so soon, I am overjoyed that she has finally pieced a huge part of her own life together by meeting Mark (fiance) and that she will be 24 with him and us for a lonnng time. Our family doesn't grow up, let me help you understand that! Crysta and I are the only two girls in a huge family of guys and every once in a while, just the two of us will sit down to dig up and piece together our parents lives in contribution to all of our own. Our conclusions are tenfold. Last night, we realized alot of shit about our families. I had been thining alot lately about this topic of families and relationships with parents and their kids. I constantly evaluate my own.
Knowing that this is completely subjective to me, let the logic and reasoning that brought me to it, free for the taking, if you need it and if you have not already realized this to be true for yourself.
Crysta's dad and my mom are brother and sister. Crysta is heavily effected by her dad and I am hugely effected by my mom. We reciprocated this sort of unexplicable frusteration when it comes to having to deal with issues at hand with either of them. It's because my mom and her dad were completely emotionally MESSED up by my grandpa. He was from LITHUANIA of all places. "The old country" where in his lifetime, they lived by the book. My tevukas especially tried to squeeze blood from a stone when dealing with his kids, and my grandma, an undiscovered saint said nothing but made up for it with her compassion and warmth as a mother. Yup, a true patriarchal family. All of us grandkids begged to be taken to grandma and grandpa's for the royal treatment during christmas, but we had to wait another 15 years to find out why our parents never wanted to be around one man. It's sad, and I like to look at this whole thing as a story I am being told. But now, I am able to provide some legit answers to some deeply rooted isues with myself by looking at how I was raised.
Everybody in the world has messed up families and it's what you bring of your own issues to a relationship. When partners have kids, their love life is put on hold and are subtly forced to re visit some old insecurites that they had when standing infront of a completely fresh human being. Here's the kicker. The more unresolved the issues are with these new parents, the more their kids have to suffer through them.
I am much more content with this discovery and it's a motivation, especially right now. After hanging on to my roots for quite some time, I think I'm ready to let some of it go to invest in myself. I've been identifying with others (my parents, old friends etc) and it's not it. We all need to exposed to other human beings whether or not it's the scariest thing to do, or throws you out of your comfort zone. I think we have to accept things for what they are, and never go around looking for revenge or pay back on anything because then your bus might make a round trip when you look too hard and you end up where you started and caught nothing that passed your way.
My cousin said that 20 to 25 is all piecing yourself together. I think that's solid advice because we need a voice of experience to keep us sane. So get your ass out of your chair and get out and get far and create your own journey to find yourself. I understand this only now, after hearing it one million times. I have motivation and reason to DO this now after hearing this one millions times.
Stay sane my 20 some odd friends. You are human and no different from what every other person will reach or has reached at this age. You get by.

Crysta my cousin and the return from OZ this weekend!
BOO-ya ka sha!
I miss her. It's been a year. I'm excited. LET'S PARTY!